Pubdate: Sat, 4 Jul 2009 Source: Toronto Star (CN ON) Copyright: 2009 The Toronto Star Contact: http://www.thestar.com/ Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/456 Author: Isabel Teotonio, staff reporter Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/rehab.htm (Treatment) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/hr.htm (Harm Reduction) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/mjcn.htm (Marijuana - Canada) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/coke.htm (Cocaine) Bookmark: http://www.mapinc.org/oxycontin.htm (Oxycontin/Oxycodone) THE LAST DAY OF REHAB We Follow Five Women Who Completed an Intensive Drug-Addiction Program. Their Odds of Success Are Not Great After 24 days in rehab, the haze of years of drug addiction has lifted. Gone are the dark circles beneath the women's bloodshot eyes. Track marks snaking up arms from nicotine-stained fingers have faded. On this January day, they will be walking out to start a new life. No drugs and no booze. The women are excited. But they are also anxious about returning to the outside world. What will happen when they face reality? "I'm feeling really scared," says Tina, the youngest of the six women who completed the rehabilitation program at Hope Place Women's Treatment Centre in Milton. "I don't wanna leave." This two-storey house, at the end of a long driveway that cuts through rolling hills, has been a sanctuary, a place where they are safe - from drug pushers, temptation and addiction triggers, both physical and psychological. But now they will be on their own and the stakes are high. "If I ever screw up in my sobriety, I'll never see my little son again and that's the thing that eats away at me," says Tina, wiping tears away just minutes before stepping out into the bone-chilling winter air. Before leaving, the women gather for Graduation Day. Three clients are missing. One woman quit on the first day and two were sent home. Counsellors cannot risk keeping clients around who derail the others. The graduates, all of whom are mothers, range in age between 20 and 41 and each has a different tale to tell of how she ended up here. One woman is a high-school dropout who smoked crack throughout her pregnancy. Another is a university-educated suburban housewife hooked on painkillers. Lianne, 25, is a crack addict from Brampton hoping to regain custody of her baby twins. Also desperate to be reunited with her son is Tina, 20, from Almonte, a small town on the outskirts of Ottawa. Veronica, 28, plans to move away from her hometown of Port Colborne, in Niagara Region, because she worries about running into her old drug dealers. Catherine, 37, is a stay-at-home mom from Burlington whose husband has threatened to leave her if she doesn't kick her addiction to prescription pills. Karen, 27, from Kitchener struggles with addiction and mental health issues that have plagued her since she was a child. Joan, a 41-year-old crack addict from Burlington, is the only woman of this group who was mandated to Hope Place. Five of these women have been in rehab before and they know that as tough as treatment can be, that is the easy part of recovery. The real challenges will come when they return home, to the very places where they once used drugs and back among the same people they used with. They agreed to share their stories of addiction and recovery with the Star. In some cases, aliases were used. And for the next five months, all of the women, except for Joan, will stay in touch. Returning home is "gonna be a really big struggle for me," says Lianne, who has been smoking weed since the age of 12. "It's the only thing I'm worried about: going home and smoking a joint." Veronica, who is trying to regain custody of her 14-month-old daughter, is nervous about her boyfriend, a former cocaine user who still smokes marijuana. Her big triggers, she says, will appear when she returns home to Port Colborne. That is why she plans to move away. "I have a fear in me and I hope that fear keeps me sober," she says. "They've prepared us for the bad, the ugly and the worst - and I'm prepared to stand up to all of it." Since opening its doors in March 1990, Hope Place has taken in about 2,300 clients. A dozen of the beds are provincially funded - annual funding is just more than $600,000 - and three are set aside for paying clients. While at Hope Place, women participate in individual and group therapy, and creative activities such as writing a letter to their drug of choice and then burning it. The 12-step program is steeped in the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous, which promotes abstinence rather than harm reduction. That means no drugs and no alcohol. The women are shuttled to AA and Narcotics Anonymous meetings in a rusted old van, sputtering toward its final days. It is tough to say how many women relapse, since counsellors occasionally lose contact with clients after they leave. But Hope Place staff estimate about 40 per cent slip up within a month of leaving. "Relapse is a very big part of addiction," says Jacqie Shartier, executive director of Hope Place Centres. "There's no such word as 'cured' in the addictions field." Badly needed, she says, is second-stage supportive housing that is specific to addiction recovery. Often, women return home to unsafe living conditions where others around them are abusing substances. The odds of staying clean are not great. Karen knows this all too well. The 27-year-old, who is bipolar and addicted to cocaine and crack, has been in residential rehab five times. Her depression, she says, is linked to her drug use. And vice versa. So not only will she have to be wary of triggers, but also her mental health. "There's a dealer right across from me and another right beside me," says Karen, who plans to seek an emergency transfer from her subsidized housing unit. Of all the women, Catherine stands out. She has perfectly coiffed strawberry blond hair, wears neatly pressed pinstriped slacks and often accessorizes with a gold chain or a jewelled bracelet. She is the only woman who is married and attended university, where she studied modern languages. She lives in a middle-class neighbourhood in Burlington. And, unlike all the others, she has custody of her daughters. But she is an addict, dependent on Percocet and OxyContin, which her doctors prescribed for chronic pain. "A drug is a drug, whether you're buying it on the street or getting it from a pharmacy," says Catherine. "It will kill you eventually. If it doesn't kill your body, it will kill your soul." When they leave, the clients are encouraged to attend support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, as well as aftercare programs that help them regain their place in the community. At the aftercare program run by Hope Place, clients learn how to prevent relapses, deal with triggers, cope with stress, access community services and prepare resumes. Counsellors make follow-up phone calls to clients, who are also told to stay in touch. But not all do. On Graduation Day, Catherine is one of the last to leave. Her husband arrives to pick her up. He gives her a long-stemmed red rose and they embrace. "Thanks for all your help," he tells the counsellors, as his eyes well up. "This is a new beginning for us." [sidebar] THE SERIES TODAY They faced their addictions in rehab; now they face reality. TOMORROW Tina's Story: Torn between baby and boyfriend MONDAY Veronica's Story: Temptations of a hometown TUESDAY Catherine's Story: The agony of painkillers WEDNESDAY Karen's Story: Managing addiction and mental health THURSDAY Lianne's Story: Choosing between kids and crack FRIDAY Epilogue: They have just passed the five-month mark. Where are they now? - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake