Pubdate: Thu, 30 Jul 2009
Source: Baraboo News Republic  (WI)
Copyright: 2009 Capital Newspapers
Contact: http://www.wiscnews.com/speakup/form.php?pub=bnr
Website: http://www.wiscnews.com/bnr/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/1002
Author: Ellen Bueno
Note: Ellen Bueno has lived in Baraboo for 21 years and is the reader 
member of the News Republic's editorial board.

'DESPERATE POLITICIANS' WORTH WATCHING

I'm thinking of pitching a show to the networks called Desperate
Politicians. In the opening scene, two state-level politicians, Bob
and Frank, are meeting at their favorite club - the Jean Baptiste
Colbert Club, named for the seventeenth-century French finance
minister who said, "The art of taxation consists in so plucking the
goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing."

The politicians are frowning as they swirl their brandies. They've got
all these government programs they want to expand, but no money to
finance them. Tax revenue is shrinking because citizens are spending
less - a behavior that aggravates our politicians. How are they
supposed to do their jobs without a lot of other people's money to
spend? If only they could operate like the federal government: Just
take out monstrous loans every year, and hope voters don't notice the
$12 trillion debt hulking over their kids.

No, they must devise some cagey way to raise taxes without disturbing
the voters too much. Which feathers can they pluck with the least
hissing or Twittering? They consider an old standby: taxing people who
are bad.

The "bad" people are not really morally bad, but they spend their
money on bad things. They smoke, drink, gamble or are hard workers who
are bad for being able to earn more than $250,000 a year. Politicians
can safely tax the beeswax out of these unhealthy pastimes and
undemocratic incomes.

They admire Wisconsin Democrats for presenting their cigarette tax
hike as a moral necessity. Governor Doyle said he wants to motivate
people to quit smoking. Very smart. It makes tax collection seem
nobler than say, the rank villainy of a state lottery that preys on
the hopes of poor people.

This gets them thinking about how they convinced voters to legalize
lotteries and gambling by promising the revenue would fix public
school funding. They frown some more and decide not to think about
that.

It's more fun to discuss how Gov. Doyle has raised taxes for
individuals making more than $225,000 per year.

"Thank goodness for all those people who smoke, drink, gamble and work
hard. What would we do without them?

"We'd have to pay our own taxes."

Bob and Frank weigh the merits of taxing soda pop, music downloads and
plastic surgery. They consider New Jersey State Senator Lesniak's
proposal to legalize sports gambling.

"Kind of scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren't we?" says
Frank.

"No, that's what Schwarzenegger is doing," says Bob.

California is $26 billion in debt, and lawmakers' desperation to
dredge up money is so great that even pot smokers noticed and put down
the munchies long enough to get Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San
Francisco) on the horn. He proposed a bill that would legalize and
regulate marijuana like alcohol. Why would pols want more stoners in
California? Taxes on pot sales could bring in $1.4 billion annually.
Cha-ching!

Gov. Schwarzenegger said, straight-faced, that he didn't think this
was the right time to legalize marijuana, but he was willing to debate
the issue. Never mind that drool running down his chin.

Likewise, our politicians are perspiring and getting glassy-eyed
thinking about that $1.4 billion. With a nervous laugh Bob says, "We
could never get pot legalized here."

Frank strokes his chin. "Well . we'd just have to get medical
marijuana legalized first. Then clinics sprout up all over the place
and pot becomes as easy to buy as coffee because authorities never
enforce the rules about proving medical need. This indifference to the
law by the law gives pot smoking the same legitimacy as coffee drinking."

Thus, Bob and Frank cross over to the Dark Side because they can't
quit spending. They and their colleagues start with "gateway taxes" on
sugary drinks and liposuction, but no matter how much money comes in,
it's never enough. They move on to the hard stuff like legalized
sports gambling, marijuana, prostitution, explosive professional
fireworks - anything to feed their spending addiction. They're in
denial about the immorality and stupidity of trying to finance
government with unhealthy behaviors. Eventually those "bad" people
will develop a burgeoning number of financial, mental and physical
problems that will cost society 10 times more in the long run.

It's a dark comedy for sure. Stay tuned to see if your state and
federal representatives will keep trying to build our house on the
sinking sand of vice.
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake