Pubdate: Sun, 17 Jan 2010 Source: New York Times Magazine (NY) Page: MM19 Column: The Ethicist Copyright: 2010 The New York Times Company Contact: http://www.nytimes.com/pages/magazine/index.html Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/297 Note: The New York Times Magazine is a section of the Sunday edition of the New York Times Author: Randy Cohen Note: Relevant part of a longer column. SMOKE SCREEN My son was dropped from our family's employee-sponsored health insurance shortly after graduating from college in May. While filling out the application for a new policy, he asked me how to answer a question about his marijuana use in the past year. I said, "Honestly." He checked a box indicating he smoked very occasionally and was denied coverage. Now he is uninsured while countless pot-smoking liars have coverage. My husband thinks I gave our son foolish advice. Do you agree? M.H., MONTCLAIR, N.J. In this situation, there is no good advice. Some problems are simply not amenable to an honorable individualist solution, offering a choice only between disheartening alternatives. Honesty may not always be the best policy -- and, by the way, do these pants make me look fat? -- but we rely on the trustworthiness of those we do business with. Were your son to lie on that form, he'd do his small part to erode that trust. And yet it's hard to see how he'd harm the insurance company. Few dire health consequences result from sporadic youthful pot-smoking or even occasional adult pot-smoking. It is impertinent of the insurer to act on information that is medically insignificant. And so, were I filling out that form, I'd lie without remorse. (All right, with some remorse. Accompanied by resentment. I blame my upbringing. And my inept, albeit imaginary, therapist.) But I could not advise my child to lie -- even an older child, even to an insurance company. I would feel a parental duty to teach integrity and encourage civic engagement. So I would urge him to supply an honest answer on that form and write an urgent letter to his elected representatives, particularly those working on health care reform. The real solution here is to guarantee access to medical care to all people, not just those pot-smoking liars. UPDATE: The son appealed the decision. The company remained adamant but said he could reapply in a year. M. H. says she believes it was giving him a nod and a wink, hinting that next year her son should simply lie. The parents were able to get him back on his father's policy for $500 a month. Send your queries to or The Ethicist, The New York Times Magazine, 620 Eighth Avenue, 6th Floor, New York, NY 10018, and include a daytime phone number. Randy Cohen's podcasts of The Ethicist are now available at NYTimes.com, iTunes and Yahoo.com. - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake