Pubdate: Sat, 06 Jul 2013
Source: Harlan Daily Enterprise (KY)
Contact: http://www.harlandaily.com/pages/web_forms_letter_editor
Copyright: 2013 The Harlan Daily Enterprise
Website: http://www.harlandaily.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/5456
Author: Dr. Vivian Blevins

DEAD FROM A DRUG OVERDOSE?

You're dead, but let's pretend for a minute or so that you're not 
dead yet, but your time is coming. I want you to think about what 
folks around here will be saying about you:

"I knew this was going to happen. It was just a matter of when."

There's truth in this. As a drug addict, you have three choices: 
Prison, sobriety, or death.

"I did everything I could to help her, but she wouldn't listen."

You are focused on one thing - where your next fix is coming from. 
You have no room in your life for your parents, other relatives and 
your own children. You can say that you do, but your words are lies. 
It's all about the feelings that you get from your drugs.

"Who will take care of her children and how will we tell them?"

Believe me, your children will be at the mercy of whatever. A family 
member might step in, or perhaps your children will end up in the 
dicey situation of foster care. If they're unlucky, they'll be 
shuffled from one place to another. Perhaps they'll become the slave 
in these houses or maybe they'll be beaten or sexually abused. Who 
knows what will become of them? If they survive, they'll say in later 
years, "My mom was a junkie and she died from an overdose when I was 5."

"She just loved to party. It's as simple as that."

Nothing is ever as simple as that. Addiction is complex; it's 
cunning; it's powerful; it's no respecter of intellect or class or 
ethnicity or gender or marital state. You won't be exempted from 
death from an overdose because you're smart enough to know when to 
stop or because you have a college degree or your dad holds a 
powerful position.

"Why didn't I see it coming? I feel responsible. I could have stopped her."

Don't you just love those television shows where an intervention is 
staged? Do you sneer and make fun of the concerned family and friends 
before you switch the channel? Wise up. You are responsible for your 
own life, not mommy or daddy or spouse. They can't stop you.

"Sure, we use around here, always have, but I thought she'd be smart 
enough to know when she'd had enough. I always know when to slow down."

If you want to quit, a huge challenge for you is being around family 
members who use. Get the h_ _ _ out. This is your only possibility. 
You're smart enough to get your drugs, so be smart enough to find a way out.

"I've known she was depressed since she was a little girl."

Depression is real. It's a medical condition and the causes are 
complex. It can be addressed with changes in life-style choices, 
counseling and prescription meds. If you're depressed, do something 
about it. Self-medication is not the answer. You might feel better 
temporarily, but drugs will destroy you.

"It's God's will."

God gives you free will. That means you make decisions about your 
life: will you use birth control? Will you have a healthy lunch? Will 
you exercise regularly? Will you run with people who are users? Will 
you use your free will to make stupid mistakes, to make bad choices, 
to kill yourself?

"Maybe it's better. She was a real mess."

So you're a real mess? So what? Most of us are in one way or another. 
No one said life would be easy. Our lives have challenges, major 
obstacles. We work through them. You might say, "But you don't 
understand... ." Believe me, I do. We get the support we need from 
what is available. We seek and find answers, and at times they're not 
ideal. If we don't find solutions with our first attempts, we keep 
looking for the paths we need to follow to get ourselves together.

"It's the fault of those kids she was hanging around with."

We're back to free will. No one forces you to associate with people 
who will bring you down. Wise up. Block them from your phones. Snub 
them. Tell them outright that you're changing your life and no longer 
want to be around them. Or keep on drugging and dealing and go to 
jail with them. You'll have compatible company there. When you get 
out, you can go right back in because your employment opportunities 
will be virtually non-existent, and you will cheat, steal, deal, sell 
your body or your child's body - anything to get your drugs.

"We paid for rehab, even mortgaged the house to get the money. Why 
didn't they help her?"

The percentage rate for getting in recovery from a first stint in 
rehab is low. Getting in recovery is a complex process that involves 
detox, treatment, changes in life style and becoming a regular 
participant in a support group such as NA or AA and working a 
program. There's no magic bullet, no one size fits all or even most.

"It was prescription drugs or over-the-counter meds. How could either 
kill her?"

You know the answer to this one, so I'm making no comment. You as a 
drug seeker will go to any lengths, use any substance - even items 
around the house - to achieve that high.

"Should we have a memorial service? Who will preside at the service? 
Should we cremate her? What should we say in the obituary? This is 
going to kill great grandmother. Who's in charge of this mess? Who's 
going to pay?"

Recovery from drug addiction is an ongoing process, every day, every 
week, every month, every year of your life. It's your decision. Or 
I'll read your obituary and depending on how well I know you or your 
family, I might even attend your funeral service.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom