Pubdate: Fri, 24 Jan 2014
Source: Sentinel Review (CN ON)
Copyright: 2014 Woodstock Sentinel Review
Contact: http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/letters
Website: http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/2385
Author: Tara Bowie, Woodstock Sentinel Review

WOODSTOCK MAN SAYS HE TURNED TO SELLING MARIJUANA TO SUPPORT AUTISTIC SON

Jim Bender admits he made the wrong choice dealing drugs out of his
downtown business but says he felt forced to do something to make
extra money after his family was denied funding for respite care for
his severely autistic son.

"I feel terrible," Bender said wiping away tears during an interview
at the Sentinel-Review office Wednesday, the morning after his arrest.
"I can't believe I did this to him. I don't know what he's going to do
now. I can't believe I did this to him."

On Tuesday morning at about 11:30 a.m., city police executed a search
warrant at Bender's Dundas Street business, Lady Godivas, an adult
store that also sells drug paraphernalia, including pipes and bongs,
following a four-month investigation.

A media release issued Tuesday night by Woodstock police stated
approximately $10,000 of marijuana was seized from the store, along
with prohibited weapons.

Bender, 49, a former Woodstock mayoral candidate and outspoken
advocate for legalizing marijuana, said he had approximately two
pounds of the drug at the store at the time of the raid that he
planned to sell.

"I'm not a liar. They caught me with some pot. I sold some pot," he
said.

Bender will appear at the Oxford County Court House on March
11.

Although he has not yet spoken to a lawyer, he said he plans to plead
guilty to drug charges but not the prohibited weapons charge. He
wasn't clear on all the items the police took from his shop, but said
at least one was a brass knuckles paperweight.

Bender said he started dealing drugs about six months ago after
finding out there would be no government funding available for his son
Jayden to continue respite care when he turned 18.

Jayden requires 24-hour care.

The teen attends school most days, where he has two support workers
and a teacher to take care of him. There are days he is sent home
because staff cannot handle him.

He cannot talk; he wears diapers and is on a special diet for celiac
disease requiring all his food to be pureed. He is known to have fits
of violence, often screams in public spaces and is a runner.

If only one person is home, it's difficult to find time to go to the
bathroom and impossible to take a shower because, while unsupervised,
Jayden often destroys things, wipes feces on the walls or tries to run
away.

Bender said he had a "breakdown" of sorts when he was told the respite
would not continue.

"I tried to make it better but I made it so much worse. I don't know
what we're going to do. This will be catastrophic for Jayden," he said.

The family faces severe financial cuts.

Prior to Jayden turning 18, the family received about $1,450 from the
government to help take care of him through the child tax benefit,
Assistance for Children with Severe Disabilities (ACSD) program, and
the respite program.

Once Jayden turned 18, the family started facing a monthly shortfall
of about $500 as the child tax benefit and the ACSD ceased.

Although Jayden is eligible for adult respite programs overseen by
Developmental Service Ontario, there are no funds available because
the programs are at capacity.

Jayden was migrated to Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP) and
now receives approximately $951 a month to pay for all his needs
including his special diet, which Bender estimates costs the family
$1,200 a month.

Since August, the family has paid at least $160 a week to have a
trained professional provide 10 hours of care a week.

No answers for the Bender family.

The Sentinel-Review wrote a story about the Bender family's struggles
in November.

Liz Prendergast, executive director of the South West region DSO, said
then that demand for the program currently outweighed the financial
resources. It was unknown how long the Bender family might have to
wait for funding.

"It's an unfortunate reality that somehow folks have to try cope with.
If I had a magic wand, I could wave I would. I'm constantly in awe of
how resilient and creative people are in these circumstances," she
said in the November interview.

Over the past few months, Bender had been in contact with employees of
the DSO, staff at the Ministry of Community and Social Services, and
other agencies trying to find help for his family.

Bender said the only thing he heard was, "we don't know (when he will
get service). We feel really bad for you but we have no answers," he
said.

They fear the future.

Angie Bender said she fears what will happen when her husband is
convicted of drug charges.

"If he goes to jail, I don't know what I'm going to do," she
said.

Angie Bender worries she'll be forced into a position to abandon
Jayden at the police station or hospital so he receives the care he
needs.

"If they send him to jail, I might have no other choice," she said,
although she fears she would then be sent to jail, as she's signed
paperwork that states she's responsible for Jayden and won't abandon
him.

"Maybe this will get him on a fast track to a group home," Bender said
grasping for an answer as to what the family can do.

There are long waiting lists for group homes for adults with
developmental disabilities, and Bender says as far as he knows there
are no facilities equipped to take care of someone like his son.

"Even though you're hearing all this, we love him to death. He's very
sweet when he wants to be. We would prefer to take care of him at
home. We've read horror group home stories. Because he's a runner,
every time we send him out of the house we are scared. We fell that
our home is the safest place for him," he said.

Bender said later Thursday afternoon he would be notifying Jayden's
respite worker that he could no longer afford to pay her as he has no
other means of income and will be facing costly legal fees.

"I don't know what we are going to do," he said.

[picture caption]

Downtown business owner Jim Bender stands with his partner Angie 
Bender oustide the Sentinel-Review office Thursday, Jan. 23, 2014, a 
day after he was arrested for trafficking marijuana. Jim Bender 
admits to selling the drug but said he did it so he could pay for his 
severely autistic's son respite care after he had funding cut this 
past summer. (TARA BOWIE, Sentinel-Review)
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