Pubdate: Wed, 09 Apr 2014
Source: Denver Post (CO)
Copyright: 2014 The Denver Post Corp
Contact:  http://www.denverpost.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/122
Author: Dana Milbank, Washington Post Writers Group

HEY, CONGRESS: TRY INHALING

Cola- and the crinkling of wrappers and crunching of chips could be
heard throughout the event. If the pot proponents were any more laid
back, they would have been horizontal.

In this sense, our perpetually warring lawmakers would have benefited
from meeting with the legalization crowd, and perhaps trying some free
samples. Our ever-indignant representatives need urgently to chill out
and free their minds. If the benefits the medical marijuana advocates
touted on Monday are real, Congress should immediately "reefer" the
matter to committee to draft a "joint" resolution: Everybody must get
stoned.

Jahan Marcu, a Ph.D. who gave the pharmacological portion of Monday's
briefing, explained to me the mechanism by which medical marijuana, if
consumed by a sufficient number of lawmakers, could cure our political
ills. "Cannabis acts upon a system in our body, and that system - the
endocannabinoid system - regulates five things," said Marcu, who has
long sideburns and wore an open-collar purple shirt. "It helps us to
eat, sleep, relax, forget and protect."

Our leaders don't have much trouble eating, and whether they sleep
well and are protected from cancer and other illnesses is not our
concern. But getting them to relax and to forget? This could be most
therapeutic.

Marcu said new research indicates that people who use marijuana
perform better intellectually than those who drink alcohol or smoke
tobacco. This suggests that if House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio,
were to switch vices from cigarettes and wine to pot, the body politic
might be healthier.

Tests show that marijuana makes animals less sensitive to provocations
such as a bell ringing. "If you ring it, they get freaked out," Marcu
said.

"If you give them a cannabinoid, they tend not to get freaked
out."

In addition, cannabis might help lawmakers rise above the cycle of
constant combat and revenge-much the way it helps soldiers overcome
post-traumatic stress disorder. "That's one great thing about the
endocannabinoid system," he said. "It's there to help you forget
useless information or information that's harmful." Far out. Smoking
dope won't necessarily stop dyspeptic lawmakers from making a hash of
things. But it could hardly make things worse.  
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MAP posted-by: Jo-D