Pubdate: Wed, 18 Mar 2015
Source: Seattle Weekly (WA)
Column: Higher Ground
Copyright: 2015 Village Voice Media
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http://www.seattleweekly.com/feedback/EmailAnEmployee?department=letters
Website: http://www.seattleweekly.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/410
Author: Michael A. Stusser

THE STUSSER OMNIBUS MARIJUANA BILL

A modest proposal to head off the awful Senate Bill 5052.

Last week, three U.S. senators introduced a bill that attempts to 
amend many of the outdated medical-marijuana conundrums at the 
federal level. The bill would end the prohibition of medical 
marijuana, reclassify the plant from its current designation as a 
Schedule 1 narcotic (a status that suggests no medical value and high 
potential for abuse), and allow for more cannabis study and research. 
While the bipartisan bill doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of 
passing, it's a great conversation starter.

Inspired by those ballsy senators-and in fear of the awful Senate 
Bill 5052 that is currently wending its way through Olympia-I've 
decided to take my own shot at solving Washington state's own 
clusterfuck. So without further ado, I present the framework of my 
own Omnibus Marijuana Bill.

Let my people grow! I mean, really. Every other state that's 
legalized marijuana has allowed citizens to grow for personal use, 
and we should too. It's a no-brainer. Put a limit on the number of 
plants per person (six per adult, perhaps, or higher if used for 
medicinal purposes), and, like tomatoes and snap peas, allow folks to 
play in the garden. (Probably not a great plant for community pea 
patches, but fab for collective gardens for medical patients, many of 
whom are too sick to tend to the crop themselves.)

Regulate medical dispensaries. The state estimates that there are 
more than 1,000 dispensaries, operating all willy-nilly. While many 
are clearly fly-by-night operations that don't check ID, a good 
number have been instrumental for decades in helping the medical 
community find strains and products and oils that help patients. So 
it just makes sense that any longstanding, established dispensary 
should be allowed to continue operating. Hell, I'll pick a random 
number that can be allowed: 420.

No medical registry. The bill from Republican Sen. Ann Rivers that 
the state Senate just passed calls for the creation of a statewide 
registry for medical patients. Puh-lease. Patients don't fear putting 
their names on the dotted line because they're faking their illnesses 
to get cheaper weed, but because admitting to a felony at the federal 
level is a pretty bad idea. Patients can lose their jobs and have 
their children taken for this kind of admission. No registry.

Whack the taxes. Right now there's a triple-decker tax structure in 
place: Recreational weed is hit with a 25 percent tax when it moves 
from farmer to processor, then again from processor to retailer, and 
again to the end customer. Pretty much everyone agrees a single tax 
is the best idea here-so pick a single sin-tax percentage and go with 
it. Too high, though, and I'm staying with my dealer.

Medical cards. Any patient with a qualified doctor who recommends 
(not prescribes) marijuana to alleviate suffering for terminal or 
debilitating conditions such as cancer, epilepsy, PTSD, and chronic 
pain should be allowed to purchase it tax-free at licensed medical 
dispensaries, just as citizens across the country (except Illinois) 
can receive their tax-free prescriptions for Ambien, Valium, Prozac, 
and whatever that purple pill is.

Free hemp now. My Omnibus Marijuana Bill is so comprehensive that I 
plan to roll hemp legislation into it, thus killing two buzzed birds 
with one stone: Legalize hemp for farming, commerce, and production, 
and just ignore the absurd bans on industrial hemp. Don't be silly; 
the fibrous stuff doesn't even get ya high.

Rec stores must stock medicinal products. Most of the individuals 
working to bring cannabis out of the shadows and into the legal 
mainstream were from the medical community-and riskily toiling long 
before the greedy Green Rush Potrepreneurs got in line for a Weed 
Lotto Ticket to make marijuana moolah. The least these green-lit 
licensees can do is stock their shelves with a small percentage of 
medicinal items in their inventory.

No pot, no pay. Cities and counties that ban marijuana outlets-either 
recreational or medical-will get absolutely no tax revenue from sales 
of marijuana. Period. In addition, as they are restricting both the 
will of the people and access for medical patients who may not be 
able to drive to places that do allow marijuana sales, these cities 
must build a FastTrack Elevated Electric Train system for their 
residents to travel from their homes to the nearest marijuana-friendly city.

Let's get loungey! Pot lounges and cafes where adults can smoke 
marijuana are a safe and social way for folks to get fired up. Hell, 
even the Seattle City Attorney likes the idea. Allow for cigar 
lounges and smoky pool halls too! You don't like 'em? Don't patronize 
'em! We're not looking to be Amsterdam with a cannabis cafe on every 
corner-though if Howard Schultz wants to get into the franchise game, 
Starbuds is a damn fine name. Probably shouldn't allow alcohol in 
cannabis clubs however; people get crazy on that shit.
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom