Pubdate: Fri, 28 Aug 2015
Source: Record, The (Kitchener, CN ON)
Copyright: 2015 Metroland Media Group Ltd.
Contact:  http://www.therecord.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/225
Author: Liz Monteiro
Page: B3
Cited: International Overdose Awareness Day (IOAD): http://www.overdoseday.com/

SUPPORT FOR THOSE WHO LOST CHILDREN

People Make Judgments About Parents Who Have Lost Children

WATERLOO REGION - Losing a child is one of the greatest pains for any parent.

But when the child dies from a drug overdose or a drinking and 
driving accident, the public stigma attached to those deaths can 
leave parents reeling with guilt.

When Christine Padaric's son, Austin, died of an accidental overdose 
of hydromorphone pills, a narcotic pain reliever that is crushed and 
snorted by recreational users, some said he was a junkie or drug addict.

The 17-year-old Heidelberg teen died on April 12, 2013, after being 
on life support for six days. He was found unconscious in a bathtub 
following a party in an Elmira apartment.

"There is a lot of stigma associated with the death. People make 
assumptions that the victim is a drug addict," said Padaric.

In the early days, Padaric heard hurtful comments suggesting poor 
parenting and others asking why a parent wouldn't notice the signs.

"You feel very helpless," she said.

Padaric, who has immersed herself in youth education and awareness, 
hopes to launch a support group for those dealing with the death of a 
child by drugs or alcohol known as Grief Recovery After a Substance 
Passing (GRASP).

Similar support groups exist in Vancouver and Toronto. International 
Overdose Awareness Day is Aug. 31.

Helping her is Kim Butler, who also lost her son, Gordie, in a 
single-car crash after he was drinking and driving on a highway near 
St. Jacob's. He had been out with friends and was on his way home at 
about 3 a.m. but got lost. He died instantly on Sept. 30, 2007.

He had graduated Preston High School the year before and was thinking 
about college and a trade.

For Butler, 59, grief counselling gave her the strength to cope with 
losing her son. It took years before she didn't feel the constant sadness.

"At the five-year anniversary, I decided I wasn't going to dwell on 
the way he died, but remember the way he lived," she said.

Her son had juvenile diabetes but never let that stop his zest for 
life, Butler said.

Butler said the support group started by Padaric will allow her to 
share with other grieving parents that the profound pain in the 
beginning does become less intense as the years pass.

"It's a good opportunity to tell people that it's not always going to 
be like this," she said. "As bad as it is, you are in good company 
with people who are going through the same situation."

"You don't feel judged," Butler said.

For Padaric, coping with her younger's son death has meant helping 
other teens understand the potential consequences of drug use.

In Ontario, a person dies every 14 hours from an opioid-related 
overdose, said Michael Parkinson, who worked on an integrated drug 
strategy in the region with the Waterloo Region Crime Prevention Council.

At Austin's high school - Elmira District Secondary School - Padaric, 
along with the principal, implemented a lanyard program in which 
students were given lanyards to remind them that they should all 
graduate together.

The school also held overdose training with a public health nurse.

"I'm not anti-drug," Padaric said.

"You need information that is valuable. Let's reduce the opportunity for harm."

Parkinson said opioid overdoses are a preventable crisis but each 
year the numbers are increasing, particularly in Ontario and Alberta.

 From 2010 to 2014, legal sales of opioids in Canada has jumped by 24 
per cent, Parkinson said.

Parkinson said there is little support for bereaved parents and for 
many the judgment of others leads them to suffer in silence.

"You're dealing with the loss of a child and then the judgment of 
others. It's brutal," he said.

For more information on the group, contact Padaric:  ---
MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom