Pubdate: Fri, 26 Feb 2016
Source: Victoria Times-Colonist (CN BC)
Copyright: 2016 Times Colonist
Contact:  http://www.timescolonist.com/
Details: http://www.mapinc.org/media/481
Author: Adrian Chamberlain
Page: C1

A SMOKERS' DRUG MART

Here Are Some Groovy Marketing Tips for Drugstores That Want in on 
Weed Business

Breaking news on the pot front this week: Canada's biggest drugstore 
chain, Shoppers Drug Mart, is exploring the possibility of selling 
medical marijuana. London Drugs has expressed interest, too.

It's a big deal, of course. For one thing, there's a lingering stigma 
around marijuana use. So if Shoppers and London Drugs jump into what 
could be (let's face it) a highly lucrative market, it would go far 
to legitimizing weed consumption in this country.

Besides, as one TC colleague noted, Shoppers Drug Mart already sells 
oxycodone. Why not sprinkle a little ganja into the mix?

It's possible the older generation won't approve of drugstore chains 
dispensing the devil's dry rub. But to me, it's a perfect fit.

Take Shoppers Drug Mart. Think of the store's past advertising 
slogans: "You're gonna be happy" (mid-'80s), "Everything you want in 
a drugstore" ('80s/early '90s) and even "Gifts made easy" (2006 to 
present). This is marijuana-friendly stuff, my friend.

Certainly, when picking up my own regular Shoppers purchases - gel 
eye compress, silicone toe separator, loofah sponge - I'd be thrilled 
and proud to add "Shoppers brand marijuana blunts - jumbo economy 
pack" to the list.

Such a view may seem "radical" or "way out" or "contributing to the 
downfall of Western civilization, which is already on an Olympic 
bobsled ride to Hades." But is it really? After all, purchasing 
marijuana is already dead easy, especially in our fair city, where 
dispensaries pop up faster than cherry blossoms in January.

Certainly, obtaining one's medical-marijuana card is considerably 
easier than trying to buy liquor with a fake ID. True story: someone 
told me about a friend who visited a Victoria dispensary. To qualify 
for a membership card, the guy was told he needed authorization from 
a medical doctor who could vouch that his "medical condition" 
(headaches) could be alleviated only by killer weed.

But at this dispensary, it was no problemo. The clerk simply opened a 
Skype connection linking the would-be client with a medical doctor in 
- - wait for it - India. After carefully assessing the Victorian's 
alleged medical condition, the good doctor (Dr. Nick Riviera of The 
Simpsons comes to mind) declared: "My son, you've got a fever. And 
the only prescription is some Triple-A primo weed!"

Well, he probably didn't say that. But the customer did scurry off 
with a shiny new dispensary card and some herb.

"Times they are a-changin," sang Bob Dylan (rumoured to have turned 
the Beatles onto cannabis in 1964). On Wednesday, a Canadian judge 
struck down federal regulations restricting the right of medical 
marijuana patients to grow their own. Pot isn't strictly legal in 
this country, but the days of throwing hippies in the slammer for 
concealing a reefer in their Frye boots are clearly gone forever.

So who can blame companies such as Shoppers Drug Mart and London 
Drugs, for wanting to get into the weed business? If drugstores do 
get a slice of the action, no doubt marketing will be key.

Not to toot my own bong, but I'm pretty good at this kind of stuff. 
So here are a few suggestions, offered to Shoppers Drug Mart 
absolutely free of charge (mostly because I appreciate them for 
stocking my favourite cologne: Calvin Klein Dark Obsession for Men).

To engage customers, have pharmacists "play the part." On Amazon, one 
can buy the Rasta Imposta for just $12.99. The outfit includes faux 
dreadlocks and a red, yellow, green and black knitted tam, just like 
Bob Marley used to wear. (Actual sample review: "My daughter and 
boyfriend wore these at our family get-to-together during the holiday 
season and we had a very good time with them.")

Set a relaxing tone in the Shoppers dispensary by playing "weed 
friendly" music over the public address system. Try Peter Tosh's 
Legalize It, Snoop Dogg's Get a Light or Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When 
I Die by Willie Nelson. Baby boomers nervously purchasing their first 
marijuana capsules to quell arthritis pain (perhaps glancing around 
in case "the man" is watching) will be calmed by Truckin' by the 
Grateful Dead, Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix or even I Needs to Smoke 
Me Some Herb of a Most Righteous Nature by the Kalamazoo Jug Band and 
Medicine Show.

Merchandising is a clever and profitable idea. How about T-shirts 
with fun logos such as: "Our pharmacy makes our competition 'green' 
with envy'" or "Hey 'bud' - we 'weedy' want your business" or 
"Shoppers Drug Mart: 'doobie' meet your expectations?"

Next week: If Costco gets into the marijuana business, will it sell 
weed in crates?
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MAP posted-by: Jay Bergstrom