Pubdate: 6 Dec 1998 Source: Mail on Sunday, The (UK) Contact: http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/ SHE'S TAKEN THE RACOON COAT AND THE BALLGOWN TO THE CLINIC... But this time Lady B swears she will leave the drugs behind SOCIALITE GP TELLS HOW SHE HAS TURNED HER BACK ON THE HIGH LIFE TO TAKE A TOUGH CURE FOR ADDICTION THE GBP 2,000-A-WEEK COURSE TO RECOVERY THE Promis Recovery Centre treats compulsive or obsessive behaviour, including anorexia, bulimia and addiction to drugs, sex, gambling, alcohol, overspending and nicotine. It is run as a community, with about 22 patients staying together in a Victorian mansion set in three acres. The programme costs GBP 2,000 a week. Treatment lasts eight weeks and is based on the Minnesota Method, which teaches patients to face up to their addiction and its consequences. As an integral part of this, patients do their own laundry and housework, setting tables for meals and washing-up. There is meditation at 7.45 each morning, followed by a walk in nearby fields and lanes and later therapy sessions. Staff members are former patients. The centre once treated Clarissa Dickson Wright of BBC2's Two Fat Ladies cookery programme, who dried out there. Promis Recovery Centre 24-hour helpline - Freephone 0800 374318. LADY Brocklebank can pinpoint the moment almost exactly. It was 5am on a November morning and she was alone in bed unable to sleep, her baby screaming in the cot next to her. A GP, she was used to the routine; seemingly endless sleepless nights, half-crazed by fatigue, and all the time agonising over her broken marriage to the multimillionaire industrialist Sir Aubrey Brocklebank. But this time it was different, because she reached into her leather medical briefcase and pulled out a phial of the opiate painkiller pethidine. It was then that Lady Brocklebank - Anna to her friends, and a respected society doctor to a string of wealthy clients - became a junkie. Not, you have to understand, the typical hollow-eyed, dysfunctional heroin addict. Indeed, what makes Anna's story so shocking, is that she was (and still is) an elegant, likeable person who seemed to be getting over her divorce. But what no one realised was that, deep down, Anna, who always put on a brave face, partied with the cream of London society and was regarded as a coper, was in a severe depression. Because she was a doctor she knew she could get instant relief from the anguish by injecting the painkiller. But the price she paid was enormous - a permanent craving. Today, as she embarks on an eight-week recovery programme at a clinic, she gives a chilling account of just how easy it can be to slip into the life of a junkie, as a warning to those who assume addiction happens to other people. Recalling that first time she turned to drugs, ten years ago, she says: 'I just thought "I can't bear this hurting any longer". I remember thinking how would I treat a patient who was suffering so much? Pethidine was the obvious answer.' Perhaps it might have happened anyway, but the immediate catalyst was the crisis in Anna's ten-year marriage to Old Etonian Sir Aubrey, who had told her he had a mistress he had fallen in love with, and that he was leaving her to manage alone with a two-month-old baby and a son of six. >From then on, the painkiller became her little secret. On and off, over the years, to deal with broken romances and other setbacks she'd reach for her bag, where there was always a supply of pethidine in little phials and a quantity of clean syringes and needles. After that first night's relief from bitter pain, she secretly injected herself each day for six months, handing Hamish, now 11, to his nanny while the days passed in a numbing blur. 'I had no fear of injections. I did them almost every day. I did it quickly and neatly without leaving a mark. The relief was immediate, and my heartache and exhaustion melted away in seconds. It seemed like the only way to get through those awful days,' she says. 'But I was also hooked as surely as any squalid heroin addict and feeling twice as guilty.' A decade on, and still fighting her self-disgust, she has checked into the Promis Recovery Centre in Nonington, Kent, and agreed to a severe detoxification programme which involves baring her soul in daily group therapy sessions. Lady Brocklebank, 42, cuts an unusual figure at the clinic. Dressed in a floor-length racoon coat, she marches outside in her high-heeled Gucci boots for a 10-minute 'fag break' between sessions. When she entered the Centre last week, she even brought a black velvet and silk Louis Ferraud ballgown with her, intending to sew on a new zip during a quiet hour or two. She expects to be struck off the doctors register for illegally prescribing drugs for herself. It hasn't been easy admitting to her titled friends that she has fallen so far down their social scale. Usually she is the one administering help and sensible advice. 'We're all the same in here. We're desperate people sharing pain,' she says. 'It doesn't matter about our backgrounds. We are all revealing our feelings in a way we've never done before. I've never met such brave people, and it's killingly painful to hear some of their stories.' For the first time since she was a schoolgirl at Malvern Girls' College she is sharing a room. Her 'buddy' is Caroline, an accountant who is addicted 'to almost everything', she says. All the rooms in the sprawling Victorian pile have names meant to inspire, such as Tranquillity or Peace. The bathroom is labelled Relief. 'Caroline and I hang out here, in Hope,' she jokes. Her scissors, nail files, aerosols and deodorant were all confiscated on arrival. Patients must focus on their detox and any potentially harmful belongings are kept out of reach. Anna liberated her Coco Chanel perfume after a couple of days, but staff found a book - also forbidden - hidden under the mattress and took it. There are supposed to be no distractions, no phone calls and no TV, apart from the occasional news programme. Anna believes she is privileged to be there. 'I feel I have no excuse for what has happened to me,' she says. 'I had a golden childhood with loving parents, both doctors, and a wonderful home where they still live in Surrey. 'I had ballet classes and music lessons and fun family holidays in the South of France. My younger brother and I are still close, and he is now an orthopaedic surgeon, so I am lucky there is a lot of understanding for my situation.' But 20 years ago, no one would have guessed her fate. One of the cleverest girls in her year, she went to medical school in Southampton, and married in 1978. She seemed to have everything. 'It had been a good marriage. I had found the best-looking man around town and bagged him. We were deeply in love. He was handsome and fun, but we had problems with intimacy which grew worse over the years. 'Aubrey was a typically repressed public school product, and I had just had a difficult time with baby Hamish, born prematurely and weighing two-and-a-half pounds. 'Our sex life floundered. We still loved each other, but it was a time in my life when I just wasn't physically responding. He had affairs and I turned a blind eye. Inevitably he fell in love with one of his mistresses and I lost him. I was devastated.' But Anna eventually pulled herself back from the brink and weaned herself off pethidine. She was being romanced by the famously eccentric William Grosvenor, cousin of the Duke of Westminster, and they became a glamorous item on the London society circuit. They even talked of marriage and exchanged engagement rings. 'Then I found out he was still married. There was a knock on my door and this very charming lady told me that she was in fact his wife and had no intention of divorcing him. She was sympathetic to me and actually hugged me. So I invited her in and over a drink we worked out that William had been leading a double life.' In the chaotic aftermath, Anna injected herself with an overdose of insulin and says she hoped to die. Her children saw her in hospital in a coma and her shame was complete. Later, with the wedding off but her social life somehow still intact, Anna was back in the swing of things. After her divorce, she took two years off her career to study for a law degree at London University. She gained a good degree and was a popular hostess and dinner party guest again. 'I had stayed clean for eight years. I had worked as a locum and I had my lovely sons. Hamish is still at prep school and Beanie, 17, is in his last year at Eton. We don't live in the same style as we did when I was married, but we have a nice house in Tooting and everything was going fine for a while.' Then 18 months ago a man broke her heart again. 'I can't talk about it. It's too upsetting,' she says. 'The really bad thing is that I resorted to pethidine again, and when I confessed to doctor colleagues they started prescribing it for me.' A four-week session in a different clinic didn't work. 'Too much time to myself, getting bored and not taking it seriously,' she says. 'I need a strict regime, with Gestapo guards as I call them, like the staff at Promis. I need to get tough with myself. I feel so desperately guilty and ashamed about what I've done to my sons.' Today she says she has finally come to her senses. She has turned her back on the winter ball season and instead faces being woken daily by a blaring public address system before queueing for the bathroom, and doing her own laundry for the first time in her life. 'They make you take turns waking everyone up on the Tannoy at 6am. When it's my turn I'm going to shout "Wakey! wakey all you filthy little drug addicts!" ' Somehow, you know she's going to finish the course. 'I was as hooked as a heroin addict and felt twice as guilty' 'I feel so guilty and ashamed about what I've done to my sons' - --- Checked-by: Mike Gogulski