Pubdate: Thu, Apr 2 1998 Source: Toronto Sun (Canada) Page: 18 Contact: http://www.canoe.ca/TorontoSun/ Author: Michael Harris OTTAWA -- While the south-of-40 press hunts for an American woman who hasn't slept with Bill Clinton, one of those thematic debates is stirring again like tulip bulbs in spongy gardens: The legalization of marijuana. About once a year, the toking masses gather their courage and try to persuade the rest of us that our pot laws are on a par with Salem's treatment of suspected witches or the Volstead Act: An idea whose time has come -- and, with any degree of enlightenment, will soon be gone. After years of funny, semi-persuasive and occasionally abusive e-mails from suburban outlaws, flower children grown a little droopy around the petals, and high-flying libertarians, I think I have the arguments pretty well taped. The Smoke People say marijuana is a lot less harmful than cigarettes or alcohol. I call this the Lesser of Evils argument. It is not without merit. I have never yet been accosted at a party by someone three tokes to the wind who wanted to see which one of us had a glass jaw. I have run into several drunken sots morphed into raging bulls and royal pains by too much booze. So okay. If you don't mind glassy-eyed stares and the odd non-sequitur over the chip dip, pot is less of a threat in a socialsetting than several of our official vices. Big-Ticket Flop Another point made by the Legalizers is that the war on drugs is pretty much a big-ticket flop -- something like welfare or regional industrial expansion. Despite billions spent on drug enforcement, including sending smugglers to the slammer until their bond issues mature, the hills are alive with the smell of Mary Jane. Most times when something doesn't work, we pack it in. So, the Legalizers argue, why not pack in the War on Drugs and usher in a Peace for Addicts? If you buy weed at a Marijuana Control Board, no more undercover cops would get shot in the face. Nor would junkies be abandoned to the mean streets of their addictions and the heartless manipulation of pushers. Nor would 10-year-olds die in the crossfire of drug turf wars. And so the mantra goes. The highest merit of the They'll Do It Anyway argument is how those billions saved from futile policing will be put to work rescuing the addicted. You know, the way part of the casino take goes to pay for the treatment of compulsive gamblers. Legalizers say that there is a better use for all that drug money than building villas for smugglers. It should be plowed back into the health-care system. Although a bit perverse, the logical figure-eight of the Smoke People ends something like this: By legalizing a product we recognize as pernicious, we actually improve the plight of those consumers being consumed by their chosen product. Then there is the Pot Never Did Anything To Me argument. This is basically unanswerable. Over the years, I have had people tell me that under, or is that above, the influence, they don't stumble through every day like a stoned zombie. They are potheads in moderation. They can handle their pot. Others use the Pot Actually Makes Me Better argument. Much like all those would-be Jacques Villeneuves who think they handle the 401 better after a blast or two of tequila. I have even heard from those who claim that pot makes them better lovers, better drivers, better writers, better putters and much, much happier dudes, until the elevator that took them up returns to the ground floor and things look just as ratty as they did before they struck that match. I do not wish to rain on their smoke-ringed parades. Perhaps everything they say is true. Perhaps perception is reality. Perhaps, breaking the law agrees with them. Who knows? But this argument is like the obverse of the one that says one reefer and you're on your way to a cold-water heroin flat. A little too extreme to win converts to the A Toke-a-Day Keeps the Whatever Away school of thought. Finally, there is the Last Rights argument, the notion that if pot can ease the pain of the sick and dying, then it ought to be legalized for medical use. Hence all those pot clubs where the infirm can send what ails them up in a puff of smoke. Rosie DiManno of The Star is to be praised for pushing the logic of the Legalizers to the limit. She recently wrote that all drugs should be legalized, working on the theory that most of the arguments for legalizing marijuana work for heroin, cocaine and speed. By across-the-board legalization, we exchange a massive criminal justice problem for an enormous health crisis. Of course, both are insoluble. Social Fatigue To some, that is a fair exchange. After all, if there was no speed limit, there would be no more speeding violations, right? To me, it is a staggering cop-out. Despite all the bobbing and weaving, the driving force behind legalizing marijuana and other drugs comes down to two things: Deep social fatigue with the dirty work of standing up to the things that are killing us -- and the tragically unhip view that drugs are just another form of good, clean fun. Like booze or cigarettes, except not so bad for you. I admit that impairing your wits is big business in these sour and soulless times. But it pays to remember that there is only one reason people smoke dope: To feel good without actually doing anything in particular to justify or sustain that feeling. Dope is a magic potion that temporarily transforms dumpy lives. The Blue Jays are back in business, so let me give it to you in baseball parlance. It is the view that you can win the game on a series of unearned runs. Just what we need, yes? Another activity that fuels a vapid, institutional sense of entitlement in an age when individual responsibility is viewed as a maudlin holdover from the moralizing ages. But even the people who have tried to give me a stern toking-to over the years admit that with legalization, there will be more, not fewer, drug users. And more drug addicts. And child tokers. Is the goal then to create a society where substance abusers can get an early start and look forward to a comfortable old age? In the old days, the Mob ran drugs, booze and gambling. It was then called organized crime. As we nose toward the millennium, governments have muscled in on most of the Mob's old territory. You could call that progress, after a joint or two. Michael Harris can be e-mailed at or visit his home page. He is The Sun's national affairs columnist. Letters to the editor should be sent to