Pubdate: Oct 1999 Source: Playboy Magazine (US) Copyright: 1999 Playboy Enterprises, Inc. Section: The Playboy Forum Contact: FAX: (312) 951-2939 Mail: The Playboy Forum Reader Response, PLAYBOY, 680 North Shore Drive, Chicago, IL 60611 Website: http://www.playboy.com/ Author: Chip Rowe CRACKING DOWN ON KIDS Zero Tolerance Makes Zero Sense Tyler Hagen did the right thing. When a friend asked the 13-year-old to dispose of a dime bag of marijuana, Tyler took the pot to his parents. They contacted sheriff's deputies, who retrieved the grass. That's great parenting-the Hagens had built enough trust with their teenage son that he went to them first. School officials saw it differently. When they discovered that Tyler's hands touched reefer while his feet were in contact with school property, they suspended him for five days under the district's zero tolerance policy, then transferred him to another school. Zero tolerance defines the decade. As with mandatory minimum sentencing laws, there are no exceptions, so no energy is wasted on thoughtful consideration of a punishment that fits the crime. It also limits liability for school administrators, who can testify that they followed the book, especially since the book is only a page long, if that. How much space does it take to write the word guilty? By now you've heard of the excesses of zero tolerance, because a "no- exceptions" policy guarantees excesses. In Mission Viejo, California a toy cap gun fell out of a third-grade girl's backpack during class. A classmate alerted the teacher. The school suspended the girl for a day, saying she was getting off easy. The gun was just three inches long but looked "very real," according to the principal. In North Kingstown, Rhode Island officials suspended a six-year-old boy for bringing a four-inch plastic knife to school. Asked if the school would suspend a child who brought in a package of cheese with a tiny plastic knife in it, the director of pupil services said he wasn't sure. In Pensacola, Florida officials suspended a 15-year-old because she brought fingernail clippers to school that included a two-inch fold-out blade to clean under nails. Officials sent the sophomore home for ten days, then recommended she be expelled. The police said that but for an oversight the girl also would have been arrested. In Glendale, Arizona a 13-year-old constructed a model rocket made with a potato chip can and fueled by three matches. When school officials discovered the toy in the boy's locker, they phoned the police and suspended the aspiring scientist for the remainder of the year. In Greeley, Colorado administrators suspended three students caught with a plastic water pistol and a spring-loaded toy gun. State law requires suspension, followed by expulsion hearings, for students who "carry, bring, use or possess a firearm or firearm facsimile at school." In other words, a kid caught with something that shoots water earns the same punishment as one carrying a weapon that shoots bullets. Elsewhere, students have been punished for the possession of a plastic ax that came with a fireman's costume (five-year-old, Pennsylvania), a bottle of Advil (13-year-old, Texas), a package of organic lemon drops (six-year-old, Colorado) and an unopened bottle of wine (13-year-old, Georgia, who presented it to his French teacher as a gift). If there's any trend that typifies the lunacy of zero discretion, it's the nationwide crackdown on Alka-Seltzer. The antacid makes for an easy prank: Break off a piece, stick it on your tongue and create a "foaming mouth" effect that's sure to make an impression. School administrators find antacids particularly nefarious. In Sacramento, California last year, a 12-year-old was suspended because he shared a tablet he found while leaving a science classroom, where it was used in experiments. Two other boys split the tablet to make their mouths foam, a teacher spotted them, they fingered their supplier and he received a two-day suspension. The boy's puzzled mother asked, "If we're so worried about Alka-Seltzer, why is it floating around his science class?" In Bremerton, Washington 15 students received three-week suspensions for experimenting with antacids. In Virginia, two middle school students dropped a piece of Alka-Seltzer into someone's milk and tricked a friend into putting a piece on his tongue. They received ten-day suspensions and mandatory instruction in a drug awareness program. In Pennsylvania, a 13-year-old got ten days for putting an Alka-Seltzer on his tongue. In a classic overreaction, his school also notified the police, searched his locker and referred him to a county drug agency. School administrators who adhere to zero tolerance policies, in a lesson that surely resonates with students, find it difficult to admit that life is full of exceptions. Instead, they tell reporters that they have "no choice" but to punish everyone in the same way, whether the student had a gun or a toy, whether he was a bystander or a buyer, whether he went to his parents or to a party. - --- MAP posted-by: Richard Lake