Pubdate: 21-27 Oct, 1999
Source: Big Issue in Scotland. The (UK)
Copyright: 1999 The Big Issue Company Limited
Contact:  14 Albany Street Edinburgh EH1 3QB Scotland
Fax: 0141 552 3200
Website: http://www.bigissue.com/scotland/
Author: Jonathon Wilson

JONATHAN WILSON, 29, STOMACH CANCER, PRESTWICK AYRSHIRE

I was diagnoscd with cancer of the stomach three-and-a-half years ago. At
the time I was given three to six months to live.

I think my youth and fitness has kept me alive for so long - I used to run
for Scotland. But in the last six months, I've started to decline quite
rapidly. My cancer has now spread to the liver and colon.

There is only so much I can do mentally. I'm starting to get tired, I'm
sleeping longer, I'm needing stronger pain medication. I find myself
talking more slowly and slurring a bit.

A lot of the time I find myself throwing up, but worse than that is the
feeling of sickness that just won't go away. I also feel sharp pains where
the tumours are. Before it was just in my stomach and I couldn't feel
anything. Now there are separate pains that I am able to point out. I can
now say: "That's a tumour there, that's another one there," because of the
pain they're causing me.

I had never smoked before getting cancer, because of my athletics
background. It was actually one of the consultants at the Beatson clinic
where I get treatment who recommended I try cannabis.

So about a year ago I gave it a try in a pipe and found it okay. I now
smoke it in rolled up cigarettes. I have about two a day, depending on how
sore I am.

They can't offer me any more treatment - they have given me everything they
can. Just now I'm on medication to keep my bowels moving, valium to help me
sleep at night, and anti-depressants. I take a morphine jag as often as
needed - sometimes five or six times a day.

I always use cannabis as a last resort. It doesn't take away all the pain,
but it puts a dull edge on it. It's usually last thing at night when I
can't get to sleep. It helps with the sickness as well. It stops me feeling
sick. If it wasn't for cannabis the pain would be a lot worse.

I was training when I first experienced problems. For a week I couldn't eat
anything without vomiting. This went pn for another couple of weeks and I
went to see my doctor. He tried cures like constipation liquid, then
eventually a student nurse said that I should go to the hospital for a
scan. Within three months I was in surgery.

At the time I was told that it was an exploratory exercise. After about six
hours they had ripped out half my stomach. I woke to find these tubes
coming out my arse, my nose, my mouth, my penis. I was very heavily sedated
so I was disoriented. It was a bit of a fright.

The doctors told me I'd had cancer since I was 16. At the beginning I was
very bitter. But the best way to describe my feelings now is
"philosophical". I think the people who give in to it die a lot quicker
than the people who fight.

I wish I had this mental toughness when I was younger - God knows what I
could have achieved. Nothing stops me now. I do parachute jumps for charity
and I'm hoping to go on a Sahara trek for Cancer Research later this year.
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MAP posted-by: Richard Lake