Pubdate: Mon, 19 Apr 1999 Source: Santa Barbara News-Press (CA) Copyright: 1999 Santa Barbara News-Press Contact: http://www.newspress.com/ Author: Dylan Conroy, 17, had been a student at Santa Barbara High School until he was enrolled in a program in Western Samoa called Paradise Cove, run by the Worldwide Association of Specialty Programs. YOUNG VOICES DECISION TO USE DRUGS WAS WRONG I was a pretty good kid before I got into the reckless lifestyle I was living. I had a car, a good job, I had good grades in school, parents who cared about me, good friends, a girlfriend. I had it all. But behind the charade I was putting on for the world, I was addicted to cocaine. I don't know how it all happened, to tell you the truth. I started using for about two months. At first it was something I did on the weekends or at a party once in a while. Then, after a while, it escalated to any time I wanted to have fun. Before I knew it I was using at work, in the morning to wake up, to function at school, to be social. I was hooked. Shortly after I began using, I started to run out of money. I was spending pretty much everything I had on it. The money from my job, Christmas presents, my savings. A lot of the people I knew at school were into it as well, so I began selling to have a constant supply. I started out small, just to keep a little extra in my pocket, and before I knew it I was buying ounces. Meanwhile, I was blind to the fact that I was destroying my life. I was going to work less and less and skipping out on wrestling practice. I was ditching class more often and neglecting my studies and homework. The balance I had tried to create contained all my priorities and responsibilities on one side. On the other side was my drug use and my partying. This side kept falling lower and became the most important thing in my life. The things I had once loved most kept becoming a smaller part of it. I kept on my downward spiral, letting drugs become more important, and letting my responsibilities become less important. My parents suspected something was wrong but never expected me to be using hard drugs. You can imagine the surprise in my father's eyes when three detectives came strolling up to my doorstep. My dad thought I must have been in some horrible car accident. He found out it was something worse. I had been arrested for sales of narcotics. November 4th was just like any other day. I went to school, took my girlfriend to lunch, I got out of school and one of my regulars was looking for some dope, so I took him to my car and hooked him up. As soon as I started counting my money a green Ford came screaming through the parking lot. I looked behind me and saw a man I'd ever seen before, and as I went to start my car, he jumped out and flashed a badge in my face. It was at that moment that I thought my life would be over. I knew my parents would be shocked, I would probably be kicked out of school, I would probably face probation and some community service and lose my license. It turned out to be much worse. I went to juvenile hall for five days awaiting my court date. I found out that although it was the first charge on my record I could still be facing up to seven years in a California Youth Authority juvenile holding facility. I wouldn't get to graduate with my friends. I wouldn't go to film school next year. I wouldn't be seeing my family up north for Thanksgiving this year. But luckily I received a different fate. My family, society, and God decided to give me a second chance. My parents arranged for me to go to a drug rehab program in Western Samoa, about 6,000 miles away from my home. I look at this place where I am now as not a punishment, but a second chance. A time where I can find out where I went wrong, start over, and make some new choices in my life. To find out what things caused me to lead such a destructive lifestyle. To find out why I was throwing away my parents' love and leading myself to a slow and inevitable death. Many of these questions I have found answers to, and many still remain unknown. But at least I am on the road to recovery now. The reason I wrote this article is not to try to persuade you into anything. But just to ask a simple question: Why are you drinking and driving, why are you taking those drugs, what satisfaction is that hit of weed or that needle in your arm giving you that a happy, successful life could not give you as well? Just ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. I thought it was all fun and games and that I was just being young. But I was wrong. My abuse came from a place much deeper than that. I'm not saying to not have fun, but just do not take the road that I did, be careful and don't use drugs for an escape from your problems. If you do, you might just end up like me, in a program somewhere instead of with your friends and family who love you. Or worse, you may even end up dead. Make the right choice. Dylan Conroy, 17, had been a student at Santa Barbara High School until he was enrolled in a program in Western Samoa called Paradise Cove, run by the Worldwide Association of Specialty Programs. Young Voices is a column written by Santa Barbara County young people, ages 21 and under. Columns should be typed and 500 to 700 words long. Submissions, with a school photo, can be mailed to City Editor Jesse Chavarria at 715 Anacapa St., Santa Barbara 93102, faxed to 966-6258, or e-mailed - --- MAP posted-by: Jo-D