Pubdate: Fri, 03 Sep 1999 Source: Charlotte Observer (NC) Copyright: 1999 The Charlotte Observer Contact: http://www.charlotte.com/observer/ PARENTS DO MATTER Dads, Especially, Influence Teens' Decisions About Drugs No doubt some parents were relieved a couple of years ago when a book, "The Nurture Assumption," told them they had only minor influence on their children. The major impact, the author concluded, comes from children's peers and heredity. Some parents may have taken that as a signal they could engage in "minimal parenting" or even leave the job to someone else. But in case any sane person truly believed that theory, a new survey of drug use gives lie to it. Parents matter a lot -- teens say so themselves. The survey isn't surprising. We all knew parents mattered -- for good or ill. But it's worth noting in this survey how important each parent is in helping kids tackle difficult issues. Greater risks of drinking, drug use and smoking, for example, are linked to teens' relationships with their fathers. This survey of 2,000 teens and 1,000 parents focused particular attention on the role of fathers, who often are not as actively engaged in their children's lives as are mothers. The teens themselves said emphatically that parents influence their lives. And they said they wanted their parents, especially their fathers, involved. Sadly, the parents in this survey seemed to believe they had little influence over their child's decisions about drugs. Joseph Califano, director of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, attributes that in part to parents' own history of drug use: A whopping 58 percent who had used marijuana felt their child would. But the survey shows that almost half of teens who had never used marijuana said their parents were responsible for their decision. That's a whole lot of parental influence. Successful parenting doesn't happen by accident. It takes work, and the benefits may not be immediately obvious. But as the survey indicates, parents who hold back because they think what they do doesn't matter aren't being realistic, they're being irresponsible. - --- MAP posted-by: manemez j lovitto