Pubdate: Fri, 10 Sept 1999 Source: Halifax Daily News (Canada) Copyright: 1999 The Daily News. Contact: http://www.hfxnews.southam.ca/ Author: Stephen Kimber WHAT DO WE TELL THE KIDS ... ... or the voters about drug use in the past? The recent media fooforah about U.S. presidential wannabe George W. Bush's supposedly long ago, supposedly irresponsible, supposed "experiments" with drugs of a recreational if illegal nature has touched off yet another round of that peculiar brand of forelock-tugging, knicker-twisting angst common to aging boomer-parent punditi. Oh, God, they ask plaintively, what-oh-what should we tell the kids? The question, of course, has to do with The Terrible Truth that once, long ago and far away - before we all became respectable, responsible, God-fearing, too-much taxpaying teachers and preachers and business executives and janitors and police officers and judges and doctors and newspaper columnists - a few of us might have smoked the occasional joint. And, worse, maybe even enjoyed it. Before, of course, we woke up to The Terrible Truth that all drugs are not only equally bad for us but that all of them will also inevitably and inexorably suck haplessly helpless indulgers into a cesspool of wasted, wasteful lives of crime, sin and degradation (our own current sun-dappled, clean-living suburban existences excepted, of course). Thanks to controversy over the drug histories of Bill (I-didn't-inhale) Clinton and George W. (that-was-so-long-ago) Bush, we middle-aged boomers must now come face to face with teenaged children who want to know, as teenaged children sometimes do: Daddy, what did you do in the war on drugs? Oh God, what-oh-what should we tell the kids? Bruce Bomier, the author of a book - I kid you not, they really write books about this stuff - entitled Marijuana and the Responsible Parent warns solemnly that "we need to confront George W.'s dilemma in our own homes." "It's a dilemma," adds Jerry Adler, writing in the Sept. 6 edition of Newsweek, "because for most parents, the answers represent a choice of competing hypocrisies. Telling the truth involves admitting you've done things yourself that you won't permit your child to do. But many parents feel uncomfortable lying to their children - especially in the context of asking a child to tell the truth about his habits." "The worst thing is to lie to your kid and have them find out later," explains Dr. Pedro Jose Greer - implying, of course, that the initial lie itself is somehow far from that worst thing. To save yourself from having to lie, Ariel White-Kovich, the executive director of youth services at the Hazeldon Foundation, an addiction research and treatment organization, advises Newsweek readers: "You can say, `I'm simply not prepared to discuss this. It's my personal business from the past.'" Oh, puh-lease. Bogus debate The real competing hypocrisies here seem to me not so much between lying to your kids or telling them the truth as between telling the truth to your kids about your drug use or lying to yourself about what you know from experience is a largely bogus debate about the dangers of recreational drug use. I, for one, worry far less about whether my kids choose to smoke marijuana - provided only that they do so after they are mature enough to have thought through that choice - than I am about them smoking conventional plain, old, over-the-drugstore-counter cigarettes. Smoking completely legal yet lethal cigarettes is what killed my father. After a lifetime of smoking, he died a horrible death years before what might otherwise have been his time. He spent his last six months in a hospital breathing only with the aid of machines. I smoked for 16 years. I quit in 1981, the year he died. I can still remember how difficult it was for me to give up that addiction. I have also smoked marijuana. I did inhale. And, yes, I did enjoy it. But, in the end, when I decided rum and Diet Coke would be my high of choice, I suffered none of the physical, psychological withdrawals I went through with cigarettes. I still have plenty of friends - otherwise respectable, responsible, God-fearing, too-much-taxpaying teachers and preachers and business executives and janitors and police officers and judges and doctors and newspaper columnists - who prefer an occasional joint to a beer, and somehow manage to lead healthy, productive lives. They are no more - or less - likely to become hooked on their weed than I am on my rum. And we're both probably far less likely to do ourselves harm than those who persist in smoking cigarettes. No one, of course, asks political candidates to come clean on their past legal smoking habits, or asks them when they're going to get tough on cigarette peddlers, or challenges them to defend their campaign contributions from big tobacco. Those who want to be president of the United States, however, must not only lie, or at least fudge their own youthful drug biographies, but they must also pretend that even occasional soft drug use will do to the rest of the world all the terrible things it did not do to them, and must therefore declare themselves foursquare in favour of the phony war on drugs. Poetic justice When the blood-sniffing media sharks first began circling around George W. Bush over rumours of his past drug use, I confess I felt sorry for the man. Who cared? But the more I read about his track record as governor of Texas - his draconian, politically inspired drug laws - the more I came to see it as a kind of poetic justice. The price of hypocrisy is more hypocrisy. It's just too bad we all have to pay the price. - --- MAP posted-by: Derek Rea