I SPENT SEVERAL MONTHS foolishly forgoing my regular massages. This came with a price-namely, some serious pain issues after my LMT worked out the kinks and knots I had neglected for so long. It was bad, people. So bad, I had to skip a concert I had just bought tickets for. So bad, I was unable to turn my neck without pain, or shrug, or really do much of anything that required movement.

I knew I had stumbled into a new territory of pain, because a vape session with some high-THC indica gave me scant relief. As I don't tolerate opioids or most any painkillers terribly well, I was considering a megadose of edibles when I recalled receiving a product sample that seemed designed for just this occasion: a THC-infused pain patch.

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Marijuana (cannabis) is a medicine. Edibles, tinctures, creams and oils are potent medicines and should be recommended by a physician who understands their properties and side effects.

Allowing a person to get anything they want at a dispensary is the same as allowing them to go to a pharmacy and get medicine without seeing a doctor or a pharmacist.

Our bodies, just like the cannabis plant, make cannabinoids (major ingredients) and we have receptors for them everywhere including the brain, blood system, liver, lungs, ovaries, kidneys, etc. The cannabinoids in marijuana are very therapeutic.

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Lawmakers in the Oregon Senate are taking a rational approach to the regulation of marijuana by blending the long-established medical marijuana program with newly legal recreational sales.

Lawmakers last year agreed to allow existing medical marijuana dispensaries to sell to recreational customers on a temporary basis while the Oregon Liquor Control Commission prepares to license recreational retailers later this year. Senate Bill 1511, which cleared committee on Tuesday, would allow those recreational retailers to produce, process and sell medical marijuana products to cardholders tax-free.

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I SAY, "Weed News Roundup"! And you say, "Cool, let's do it." Because you went to a private school that didn't have a sports team with call-and-response cheers. Way to go, Waldorf.

Ida-No, You've Got to Be Kidding-Last year, two very stoned and stupid young men, driving from Las Vegas to Montana in a vehicle filled with 20 pounds of cannabis, made a stop in Idaho. Not for french fries, but to call the cops on themselves, asking to be arrested. No, really. Here's a portion of the transcript of their 911 call:

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It's a message as old as the War on Drugs: If there's anything you need to know about marijuana, just ask a cop.

For some members of the Massachusetts state legislature, faced with the possibility that voters will legalize marijuana in November's election, the old playbook is the only one they have. So they invited some police in to explain drugs to them.

The results were as predictable as a middle school D.A.R.E. assembly. The cops, including an officer from Colorado traveling the country warning about the danger of legalizing recreational marijuana use, advised Massachusetts to "Just Say No."

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IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY, which can be difficult for single people. (Who are only alone because something is wrong with them. WHAT? I'm right. You know I'm right. Think of all your single friends, and name two who aren't that way because of a deep, twisted, untreatable inner flaw. Yikes.)

But even for those of us who are happily coupled-and don't hate-there are expectations forced upon us that this has to be the most romantic, multi-orgasmic holiday of the year, right after Arbor Day or when a new dispensary opens down the block.

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A state task force has recommended that Oregon create an independent institute for research into the medical uses of marijuana. The reasons for doing so are sound, and lawmakers should follow the recommendation. But not right away.

The task force, created by the 2015 Legislature under the auspices of the Oregon Health Authority, issued its report Monday. The report recommends creating the Oregon Institute for Cannabis Research. The institute would conduct studies both within the university system and outside it, and would raise private funds as well as relying on a dedicate source of state funding.

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The Oregon Department of Agriculture stopped the sale of a pesticide used by marijuana growers because one of its active ingredients is not listed on the product label.

The agency says the product, Guardian, identifies itself as 100 percent natural and lists its active ingredients as cinnamon oil and citric acid. A state lab, however, found the presence of abamectin, a widely used insecticide.

A company official said the product has been pulled nationwide.

Times staff and news services

[end]

Oregon has an 18-year history of legal medical marijuana use. The program works and has brought an improved quality of life to thousands. Like other pioneering efforts (death with dignity, same-sex marriage, increased minimum wage, vote by mail, etc.), it has not resulted in the sky falling.

Legalization of cannabis in Oregon, hopefully, means an end to its demonization. We are now free to investigate its full potential, to enjoy its many benefits. It means it is once again a legitimate agricultural product and should be treated as such.

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The Oregon Health Authority meeting on Jan. 27 at the Medford library was a total disaster.

OHA failed to notify the 33,000 Oregon Medical Marijuana Program patients who live in the Rogue Valley. OHA is totally rewriting the the OMMP administration rules for medical marijuana. I would like to think the Oregon Health Authority would notify OMMP patients of rule changes that will make most growers unable to provide the medicine they need on a daily basis. OHA is suppose to take care of the sick people in Oregon, not make them worse.

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I HAVE GOOD NEWS! Today we're going to explore how you can shatter the myth of the lazy, unmotivated, forgetful stoner and defend cannabis consumers everywhere. And you can do it while stoned!

I also have not-so-good news! It's going to involve taking time out of your day. Not much, but you are going to have to click on some links, maybe type a little, and make a phone call. So it's about on par with the effort you exert using Tinder-without all that lingering regret.

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Regulators with the state of Oregon are proposing a very cautious set of rules to govern what's certain to be a brisk market in marijuana edibles - cookies, candies, drinks and a surprising variety of other items that can swallowed instead of inhaled.

It's the right call. Experiences in Colorado and Washington state, two states that legalized the use of recreational marijuana before Oregon, suggest that edibles deserve extra amounts of caution. Oregon is wise to be acting accordingly.

Colorado officials were surprised by the popularity of edibles in that state; one analysis suggests that edibles accounted for roughly a third of recreational marijuana sales there last year. That went hand-in-hand with a surge in the number of calls to poison hotlines and visits to emergency rooms prompted in part by people who had unknowingly ingested considerably more THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, than they had thought.

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I'M NOT ANTI-ALCOHOL. I swear. Although I'm basically a teetotaler, I have no issues with those who enjoy the water of fire. As with most intoxicants, I'm cool with what you do, as long as you aren't impacting the vibe of those around you.

That said, I've had a few experiences lately that have made me question if cannabis consumers do well in the company of drinkers.

Certainly, it depends on the people involved-I've toured with bands who have spent a good portion of their day with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a never-ending stream of fat joints in the other. With a few exceptions, it worked out great! (There were times it did not. The Third Circle of Hell most likely involves cleaning up whiskey puke from inside a tour bus. Someone else's whiskey puke.)

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I keep reading the letters concerning the growing restrictions that are being considered for marijuana and how bad that would be for the patients who need it. Well, it didn't seem to be a problem until "recreational" marijuana became legal. Those who have started their grow sites since the legalization are not selling or providing for only patients, but selling wherever they can profit.

We moved from "the city" out to the county to a peaceful little piece of land in 2014. We loved sitting on the back deck, drinking our coffee and reading the newspaper in the morning and then enjoying a barbecue dinner out there in the evenings. Just enjoying our little piece of heaven.

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Enduring the foul odors caused by growing cannabis through harvest time cannot be escaped. Neighbors cannot use their yards or patios due to the strong pungent odors from blooming season through October. Neighbors' property values are depleted immensely, or they can't sell.

Why are we spending money on something that's illegal according to the federal government, also damaging to our young people? It's not for the medical field, it's another hallucinating drug and will in most cases lead to stronger drugs. Ask Dr. Phil.com, he's one of our leading doctors in drug rehabilitation.

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"You've got to carry weapons, 'cause you always carry cash"

- - "Smuggler's Blues"

The line from Glenn Frey's 1984 hit song about the illegal drug trade has taken on a new significance in 2016, as newly legalized marijuana retailers are planning to drive up Interstate 5 with large amounts of cash to pay the state tax on their pot sales starting next month.

One dispensary owner says he's a little apprehensive, but makes it clear that, yes, he will be armed: "We believe in our Second Amendment rights."

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The Medford City Council voted Thursday to send a potential ban on outdoor and indoor marijuana grows to voters in November.

In addition, voters will be asked whether they want to allow sales of recreational marijuana in the city limits and whether they want a 3 percent tax on those sales.

Voters will decide four different ballot measures related to pot, which could cause some confusion.

"That question was raised," Councilor Michael Zarosinski said.

But the council thought it better to put the measure on the November election in a presidential election year when voter turnout is typically the highest, Zarosinski said.

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IT'S 2016, and things are about to start getting REALLY good for cannabis enthusiasts. Sure, as of last October, those 21 and older could walk into an Oregon Medical Marijuana Program dispensary and purchase up to a quarter ounce of flower, seeds, or clones. And last year we held events where we could stand outside (or under a tent) and enjoy some twisted-up goodness. And right on to that.

Dispensaries that sell the full range of recreational adult-use cannabis products (concentrates, topicals, edibles, etc.) will be opening any day now, and parties are about to start going off where you can smoke indoors to your heart's content. What a great time to be alive!

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Banks Won't Take Pot Money, but State Can Deposit Pot Taxes

Unable to use the banking system, marijuana-related businesses will deliver cash to Salem in February to make their required payments on Oregon's new 25 percent tax on recreational pot sales. The state gladly will accept the cash - and then promptly deposit it in its bank account.

Ramsey Allred, manager of Rogue Valley Cannabis Dispensary on Crater Lake Avenue between Medford and White City, said he's a little concerned about taking cash on a four-hour ride to Salem to pay the tax bill, but he said he's used to operating a cash-only business and in taking precautions to protect it.

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(This column is heavy on science. In the next week or so, maybe I'll write something on cannabis suppositories or what happens if you eat too many medibles before spending the holidays with drunken in-laws.)

LIKE MANY AMERICANS, I consider myself to be fairly smart. This is despite mountains of evidence to the contrary (see "The Stupid Stoner Moments of 2015," Cannabuzz, Jan 6). That said, there are three canna industry professionals in Portland who are so, so, so smart that I get a mild headache after speaking to them (which I attribute to having my mind blown).

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